Searching for Hope
Of the pre-boomer generation,
way back in the seventies he agonized
over doomsday predictions . . .
not Armageddon or “The Rapture”
but derricks no longer pumping oil,
asphyxiation of the planet
in clouds of its own dirty air,
planetary throat parched,
water clean no more,
the earth smothered by wall-to-wall
ego-beset people who, worst of all,
could only disagree
about what to do.
Where was any hope for his kids,
for his kid’s kids?
Not yet succumbing to despair, though,
he continued to search for Hope.
Drawn to a stranger he hoped to get to know,
from ego, need, libido desiring connection,
impulsively (though not insincere)
he stammered:
“You are beautiful!”
But she was strong, not taken in.
“You’d not see the beauty in me”, she said,
(as deeply into his eyes she looked)
if it wasn’t also within you.”
No stranger to words,
books even about Love’s inner light,
yet up to that moment still asleep,
stunned awake, he knew it was true.
He did not see the angel again, but her words
. . . “You’d not see the beauty in me
if it wasn’t also within you” . . .
changed his life forever . . .
and he continued his search for Hope anew.
Further along the path he left his wife
to be more free, he thought, to continue the search,
but on finding a new love was beset
by the very dragons that had confronted him
the first time round . . . like
coping with another’s anger or another’s control. . .
even though his new spouse
could not have been more different from the first.
He learned thus that the dragons clearly
were not, as they seemed, without,
but his own,
within.
Now, thirty-five more years along the path
not a lot has changed,
although more and more souls seem to be awakening
to the tenability of doomsday scenarios,
and in their alarm are inching open
dark curtains that hide their Light, revealing,
if mostly to themselves, yes,
inner dragons of ego, of pain, of fear
at the root of our earthly troubles
but also angels . . .
beauty, caring, and unconditional love.
Not a lot has changed except
wrestling my own dragons I have learned
to try to name and accept each whenever it appears,
then choose the path of gratitude revealed by the angels
in the Light of the ultimate mystery:
everything is as it should be.
Therein lies Hope.
Of the pre-boomer generation,
way back in the seventies he agonized
over doomsday predictions . . .
not Armageddon or “The Rapture”
but derricks no longer pumping oil,
asphyxiation of the planet
in clouds of its own dirty air,
planetary throat parched,
water clean no more,
the earth smothered by wall-to-wall
ego-beset people who, worst of all,
could only disagree
about what to do.
Where was any hope for his kids,
for his kid’s kids?
Not yet succumbing to despair, though,
he continued to search for Hope.
Drawn to a stranger he hoped to get to know,
from ego, need, libido desiring connection,
impulsively (though not insincere)
he stammered:
“You are beautiful!”
But she was strong, not taken in.
“You’d not see the beauty in me”, she said,
(as deeply into his eyes she looked)
if it wasn’t also within you.”
No stranger to words,
books even about Love’s inner light,
yet up to that moment still asleep,
stunned awake, he knew it was true.
He did not see the angel again, but her words
. . . “You’d not see the beauty in me
if it wasn’t also within you” . . .
changed his life forever . . .
and he continued his search for Hope anew.
Further along the path he left his wife
to be more free, he thought, to continue the search,
but on finding a new love was beset
by the very dragons that had confronted him
the first time round . . . like
coping with another’s anger or another’s control. . .
even though his new spouse
could not have been more different from the first.
He learned thus that the dragons clearly
were not, as they seemed, without,
but his own,
within.
Now, thirty-five more years along the path
not a lot has changed,
although more and more souls seem to be awakening
to the tenability of doomsday scenarios,
and in their alarm are inching open
dark curtains that hide their Light, revealing,
if mostly to themselves, yes,
inner dragons of ego, of pain, of fear
at the root of our earthly troubles
but also angels . . .
beauty, caring, and unconditional love.
Not a lot has changed except
wrestling my own dragons I have learned
to try to name and accept each whenever it appears,
then choose the path of gratitude revealed by the angels
in the Light of the ultimate mystery:
everything is as it should be.
Therein lies Hope.
© 2006 by Robert G Blakesley
1 Comments:
Robert,
You probably don't remember me, two years behind you in college, but I remember well some of our conversations and your openness with me.
I always seem to be one issue behind in reading Amherst, but I checked out your blog today, and was very impressed. I particularly liked "Light and Dark in Spring" and "Searching for Hope." The latter described some of my own experience with a slightly different chronology. I left my wife in 1977, and it took me the next twenty years to find that my dragons are within. I have learned to live with them and am happier than I have ever been. I hope the same is true for you. And I have Hope.
bruce
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